Deseos del corazon

Chapter 2

by Suzanne Magoon

Suzanne struggled as she then had to fight her feelings of Chico as she remained alive by fulfilling her destiny with Mando.

"Mando knows how much I love him as well as Chico".

Struggling to face her emotional and spiritual battle she focused on her lover who she was with as her destiny was proclaimed.

Mando held Suzanne he couldn't let go of her, crying he confessed his feelings for her, "Suzanne you know I love you. I will be by your side for eternity".

Suzanne embraced Mando feeling comfort from him as she began to struggle with her emotional battle between him and Chico.

Feeling her shake Mando began to worry over her, "Suzanne, oh God are you going to be alright?"

Suzanne held on to Mando as she dreadfully confessed her never ending feelings for Chico, "Mando, you know I love you as I know how much you love me." Suzanne desperately tried to fight her mixed feelings, "Mando, I have a strong battle against a love for you as well as Chico. My spirit has been declared by our destiny yet my heart still yearns for Chico."

Suzanne cried on Mando's shoulder, " Damnit Mando, my feelings for Chico are keeping me from fulfilling my destiny!" Mando released from her still holding her. "So what you're saying is, that you're not fully in love with me?"

Chico came between them trying to understand also. "Please, I can't lose you. If you must, stay with Mando, I'll understand. I'm sure some day when your children are older they will understand also".

Suzanne struggled with her emotions between the two men she loved. Collapsing on the couch Suzanne began to fear her time here on earth was over. "Oh God! Please help me understand my destiny before me!"

Suzanne reached out her arms for Mando as he rushed over to embrace her. " We will get through this Suzanne. Love has always conquered all. If you truly love me as much as I love you. Then lets continue as we will be together as one again".

Chico knelt down beside Suzanne and Mando, sighing he agreed, "Suzanne whatever it takes to keep you here with us. I will accept the consequences of not being a part of your life".

Looking over, Suzanne realized how much she and Chico meant to each other, "Chico, you will always be with me no matter what".

Suzanne began to drift away unconsciously when Chico leaned over closer to her, "We're losing her. Mando do something!!"

Mando held her hand lightly squeezing it he then embraced her. "Suzy! Come on! We need you! Your children need you!"

Cries from the background were heard as Francisco woke up from his nap. Hearing the cry of her only son, Suzanne began to stir as she regained her physical self, "my son! Francisco!"

Mando leaned towards her brushing her hair back, "yes, yes your son Francisco!" Mando quickly rose running back to Francisco's bed to bring their son to her. Coming back into the living room Mando carried their son towards her.

Looking over Suzanne witnessed her son, "Francisco! Mi hijo!" Suzanne carefully held her son as Mando and Chico looked on.

Walking over between the three of them. Chico was glad to see her back in there lives again. Chico had an idea, "I'll be right back, I'm going to get Edina". Mando smiled as he agreed that would be great to have her see Edina. "Here Chico!" Mando tossed his keys over to him, "just come on in, in case anything drastic happens you'll always be able to come in amigo!"

Chico rushed out of Mando's apartment as Suzanne held on to her son Francisco, "Mi hijo, I thought I'd ever see you gain". Suzanne kissed Francisco as Mando gently embraced her.

Feeling her again gave Mando a sense of reality that she was back in his life. "I can't believe you here, here with me and our son Suzanne".

Reaching over she held his hand, "Mando, I don't know how long I will be here. I pray that we will be together for a long time Mando". Mando leaned down to embrace her, " I can't let you get away from me again Suzanne."

Suzanne held her son, "Mando, I'm scared with what will happen to me!' "Placing his hand upon her shoulder as the two of them spent time together with their son Francisco. "Mando, You have to help me! I don't know exactly if I am truly coming back to stay?"

Mando lightly embraced her, "Suz, With all my help. I'll see to it you will never leave us".

Mando looked back as he heard the sound of his keys open the door. "Edina is here!" Mando smiled as he kissed her, rising up Mando opened the door finding Chico carrying Edina. " Edina! Someone special is here to see you?"

Suzanne smiled as she saw her daughter for the first time since she came back to life. "Mi hija Edina!!" Suzanne emotional cried as she held her daughter.

Edina looked at her mother as she was embraced by her. "Mommy?" Suzanne cried as she held her daughter, "Yes mi hija! It's your Mommy!" Edina looked at her mother, "Daddy told me you went away"

Crying as he witnessed Suzanne with their daughter Chico placed his hands on both Edina and Suzanne, "yes. Edina, mommy did go away but she is with you and your brother now".

Suzanne felt the love from Edina come over her as she did with Chico. Frightened Suzanne began to feel faint as she looked at her daughter and her daughter's father. "Mommy? Are you sick?"

Mando and Chico rushed over closer to her, " Suz, what's wrong?" Chico asked. Mando started to panic as he held her gently rocked her. "Please Suzanne, oh God not now. We need you. I need you!"

Suzanne drifted into an unconscious state.

Slipping away from her loved ones Suzanne once again appeared before a bright silhouette. Covering her face, Suzanne shielded herself from the blinding light in front of her. "Please take me back! I want to be with my children".

The spirit approached her. " You need to face your real feelings that still linger inside you!" Suzanne struggled to accept the spirits decision, "my baby girls father!" Suzanne dropped to her knees and cried, "how can I be apart from him if Edina is a part of Chico?" The spirit lead her away, "you will find your answer and then you must follow it..."

Frightened Mando looked at Suzanne, crying he laid his head on her shoulder, "Please Suzanne, come back, if not for me. Please for your children"

Sadly Chico realized why she was fading out of his life and Mando's. "Please, Mando, I need to speak with you privately." Sadly Mando spoke as he gently touched her cheek

"Alright Chico".

Chico extended his hand out for Mando. "Here let's speak in the kitchen not in front of her children. " Sadden Mando rose off the couch, "ok, Chico!" Mando and Chico approached the kitchen, "Mando, as much as this hurts me. I have to back off of this." Mando concerned questioned Chico, "Back off?" Chico sadly paced around him wiping his eyes. "Mando, I am keeping her from following her destiny!" Chico sadly shook his head. "God, why can't this change?" Mando crossed his arms concerned realized his remark, " Chico, are you saying, You are still in love with her?" Chico sighed, "Mando, she loves you dearly. I know that! She also loves me. I can feel it." Sadly yet angrily Chico explained it to Mando.

"She needs to fully love the one she is destined to be with. You Mando! You are her destiny. Not me!" Chico angrily said. Tears streaming down his face as he looked over towards Suzanne. Chico sadly shook Mando's hand, "Mando, with me here, it will only ruin things for her." Mando struggled to accept it as he walked over to Suzanne. Watching her made it hard from him to accept that they were destined for one another if she still had feelings for Chico. "As much as I do love her Chico, how will I know if she truly loves me?"

Looking over in a distance Chico struggled to realize that he couldn't be around her as Mando continued to embrace her hand, crying he prayed for her to pull through this.

Suzanne began to stir as Mando felt her embrace upon his. "She's coming back!" Chico looked over towards them as he witnessed her moving. Arriving to her closer Suzanne abruptly stopped him. "Wait! Before you speak I must speak to the both of you first"

With Mando's help Suzanne sat up as he sat beside her. Saddened Suzanne looked down as she then confessed to Chico and Mando. Holding Mando's hand she gently rubbed it. "Chico, my destiny is with Mando. If I do not follow my destiny, I will surely be gone forever."

Saddened Suzanne said goodbye to Chico, "Adios mi amore!"

Chico struggled to accept it as he then mentioned his daughter, "Surely you will get to see your daughter Edina, she misses you terribly Suzanne". Suzanne covered her face as she wished for any other way." Chico, I can no longer be a part of our daughters life"

Chico scooted forward closer then stopped," What? How can you not be part of Edina's life?" Suzanne looked up at him, "Chico, Edina's spirit is a part of you and me. The spirit told me that since Edina is a part of you, I can no longer be a part of her". Sighing Chico then had to accept her statement according to what the spirit told her, "Suz, if means that much in order for you to be here then I have no choice but allow your destiny to continue"

Suzanne saddened of the proposed destiny that has now separated her and Chico felt her body drift back as she met upon the spirit. Feeling herself become one with her body Suzanne sadly watch as her then one true love walked out of her life.

Mando leaned over to comfort her, "Suz, you're going to be ok?" Looking back to Mando Suzanne embraced him, "Yes Mando, I have to realize that our love was meant to be just as what you and the Priest proclaimed".

Chico left Mando's apartment worried on how he was going to tell his daughter Edina she could no longer see her.

Suzanne seemed to feel better as she now realized she was fulfilling her destiny. Walking thought the apartment she felt the need to see Ed. "I wonder how Ed is taking the news regarding me?" Suzanne sighed as she looked out of the apartment window. "I would really like to see him"

Facing Mando she confronted him with his feelings, "Mando, please if it will be ok. I would like to see Ed." Mando walked up to her wrapping his arms around her, "Do you think that is ok for you to do?" "Suzanne sighed as she agreed with him. "After all Suzanne, Chico will be there as well as Edina. I don't want nothing to happen to you".

Fearing the possibility, Suzanne still had to see him." Please Mando, I just want to visit with Ed." Mando sighed as he then agreed. "Ok Suz, I'm sure Ed will be happy to see you". Mando dialed the garage.

"Hello Ed Browns Garage" Ed said tiredly. Mando sighed as he began to talk, "Ed, I would like to come over for a few minutes I have something to tell you".

Ed curiously answered, "Mando are you ok?" Trying to find the right words Mando hesitated "Ed it's hard for me to explain over the phone" I'll be over in a few minutes" Mando hung up the phone. "Are you sure your up to this Suz?" helping her out of his apartment." Yes Mando, If I feel weak I'll sit down and rest a bit"

Mando and Suzanne left for the garage.

Arriving at the garage Mando pulled in sounding his horn, Ed walked out of his office greeting Mando, "How are you doing? I know it has to be hard on you as well as Francisco," Mando nudged Ed to move over away from his car. "Ed I have something to tell you." Ed concerned asked Mando as Suzanne quietly got out of the car. "Ed, She's alive! Suzanne is here with us again"

Ed seemed confused yet concerned for his well being, "I understand Mando that everyone has taken her death pretty hard. But Mando please... How can you possibly say you she is alive..."

Ed turned around as he witnessed Suzanne standing at the other side of the car.

"Suzanne? Suzanne!" Ed rushed over towards Suzanne embracing her. "I. I can't believe it! Suzanne when did this all happen?"

Suzanne tearfully embraced Ed as she noticed no change her physical body. Crying she just couldn't understand why it was only happening with Chico.

"I can't believe your back with us Suzanne. When Mando said that you had passed away. I was devastated. Your daughter Edina is taking this very hard".

Chico's apartment door opened up as Edina walked out holding her daddy's hand. "Momma!"

Chico looked down at her, as he bent down to hug her, "Edina mi hija your Mommy is not here". Releasing from her he rose up.

Chico turned around finding Suzanne embracing Ed as Mando fearfully looked over noticing Chico witness Suzanne. Fearing Suzanne’s feelings for him Mando panicked "No! I can't let this happen!"

Chico turned around as Edina pointed to her mommy. "Suzanne? Oh Suzy!"

Chico ran to her as he wrapped his arms around her. "What are you doing? " Chico smiled, "I mean I'm glad to see you and everything. But with me here with you. Your destiny will not continue".

Tears ran down her eyes, "I know Chico. I just had to see Ed. Chico... I'm afraid it's not affecting him"

Ed looked over to Suzanne and Chico, "Not affecting who?"

Suzanne sighed, as she tried to explain to him, " Ed, please bear with as I try to explain why I'm here. As I died my spirit was lead to a higher place. The spirit informed me I had died of a broken heart. I followed my destiny yet I still have a love so strong for mi deseos del corazon Chico". Suzanne wiped her eyes, "Ed if I don't follow my destiny I am surely not going to be here!"

Looking over to Chico then to Ed, Suzanne confessed her journey, "Ed I can no longer be involved with Chico and Edina". Ed concerned questioned Suzanne, "What does your daughter Edina have to do with this?"

Chico sadly put his arm around Ed, "Since Edina is a part of me. She can no longer be with Suzanne or her destiny will not be fulfilled"

Ed couldn't believe it," That's ridiculous!"

Wiping his eyes Chico agreed as Mando looked on. Walking up to Suzanne Mando embraced her as she began to cry. "Why? Why can't Edina or Chico be a part of my life?" Suzanne continued to cry on Mando's shoulder as she embraced him not wanting to let go.

"My destiny knows I will always be with you Mando but why can't I be apart of Chico's and my daughter's life?"

Watching her mommy cry Edina took hold of her daddy’s hand wanting him near her mother. Looking up to her daddy Edina pleaded with him, "Mommy is sad!"

Looking down at Edina Chico emotionally tried to explain to her as she tugged him over to her Mother. Bumping into Suzanne, Chico gave into his daughter and his own feelings as he embraced her. "God, Suzanne, Edina is taking this so hard". Suzanne cried as she rested her head upon his chest.

Edina walked up to hug the both of them. "Suzanne felt her body shake as her spirit fought to leave her. Struggling she tried to keep her spirit upon her. "If I can still acknowledge that Mando is my destiny maybe somehow that can keep me from leaving." Suzanne fought against her spirit as she felt Chico's embrace upon her. Steadily she remained as one. "Chico, I feel I'm still here? Oh God!"

Ed looked on as Suzanne shook into Chico's embrace. "Suzanne are you alright? Chico what is happening with her?"

Frightened Suzanne pleaded against her spirit, "please let me stay..." Suzanne slumped over Chico’s arms passing out.

Mando quickly rushed to Chico helping him guide Suzanne to the couch near by. Chico carried her over as Mando quickly followed without knowing he had dropped something out of his pocket.

Ed followed them then reached down picking up what Mando dropped out of his pocket, "huh? What's this all about?" Carefully placing in his sweater pocket he continued to catch up to Mando and Chico. "Is she going to be alright?" Ed asked as he leaned over Mando and Chico looking on.

Nervously Chico fussed with her to get her comfortable. Mando gently rocked her lightly brushing her hand. Chico carefully watched Suzanne lay motionless as Mando quietly rocked her. Tears forming in his eyes Chico feared his presence caused her to pass out.

Ed concerned for Chico’s feelings embraced him. "Why don't we leave Mando and Suzanne alone for a few minutes. Come on Chico you can take a moment with me in the office. I would like to talk to you".

Chico wiped his eyes looking at Suzanne motionless," Ok Ed" Together they walked over to Ed's office. Opening the door Ed motioned to Chico to sit down," I know this is very difficult on everyone’s part Chico..." Ed placed his hand on his shoulder. Chico covered his face gently rubbing his eyes." I just can't understand why she gets so ill when I'm around."

Ed sighed as he sat on his desk, "Chico when Mando helped you with Suzanne carry her to the couch this fell out of his pocket. Do you happen to know what it is?" Ed handed the small bag unto Chico's palm of his hand.

Looking at the small bag Chico was shocked to see what Ed had given him. "Ay caray! This fell out of Mando's pocket?"

Ed looked over to the contents of the bag, "Yeah what is he doing with a bag full of odd looking vegetables?" Chico opened up the bag handing one to him, "Ed these are no ordinary vegetables. This is what is very well known on the street as magic mushrooms!"

Ed looked at Chico confused, "magic mushrooms?"

Ed grabbed one out of his hand taking a closer look at one. "What do they do? Do they perform tricks?"

Chico placed the bag on the desk, "This kind of mushroom can play tricks in your head Ed. They make you hallucinate." Chico sighed, "So this is what Mando is doing to her. Making her believe she is having some sort of supernatural vision".

Chico sighed as he covered his head. "Ed, I know that Mando loves her, and I know that he knows how she feels about me. I just never would of thought he would go this far as to do this to her." Ed concerned looked at the mushrooms. "She isn't going to be addicted to these things Chico? Isn't she?" Chico took the contents dropping them back into the bag. "No Ed, she can't get addicted to this". "However she could easily die from these if Mando isn't careful"

Chico sighed as he had to approach Mando about this to him, "Ed, would you mind having Mando come in here?"

Ed opened the door, "Ok Chico, I'll stay with Suzanne". Ed walked over seeing Mando carefully rock Suzanne. " Mando, Chico needs you in my office. I'll watch Suzanne for you ok?"

Mando sadly left Suzanne looking up, "God I hope she pulls through this".

Mando opened the door to Ed's office, "Hey Amigo!" Chico slightly smiled as he sighed disappointedly at him "Mando, Ed gave me something of yours that he said that fell out of your pocket". Mando nervously padded his pockets, sighing in disappointment.

Chico threw the bag on Ed’s desk "Why Mando, How could you do such a thing?"

Mando inhaled then exhaled slowly, "Chico, if I didn't do something. I know Suzanne would have divorced me again". Chico angrily shook his head in disagreement, " Mando, she admitted to both of us that she loves you!" Mando raised his head looking at Chico, "yes I know that Chico, but I know in her heart she still can't get over you". Chico shook his head, "Jesus, Mando you could of really killed her!"

Disagreeing Chico tried not to get upset while he became angrily confused in front of Mando, "You weren't trying to end her life so you could actually say she was yours till she died were you?"

Looking up at Chico he pleaded with him, "NO Chico! I love her too much to do such a thing like that! How could I go as far as finally marrying her after she claimed me as her destiny then have her suddenly out of my life!!"

Mando stood up pacing the office,

"Chico, please do not turn me in to the cops! If they find out about this, I'll be in the slammer for life!" Listening to Mando Chico nervously messed with his hair. "Damn it Mando, how am I supposed to trust you again?" Chico stood up fearing Mando's next move. "How do you think Suzanne is going to take this?" Mando nervously fidgeted, "I'm afraid she may never want any part of me again Chico!" Chico walked over to the door.

"Well you better pray to God she has an understanding" Opening the door Chico left as he waited for Mando to head on out of the office.

Chico and Mando walked over to Ed with Suzanne, "Ed how is she doing?" Mando asked. Looking up towards them Ed lightly brushed her hair back as he quietly spoke to Mando and Chico," She's coming around she seems to be more alert now". Kneeling down beside Suzanne, Chico and Mando gently embraced her as she began to stir. Looking over Suzanne smiled, "Chico! Mando!" Gently embracing her Mando spoke, "Suzanne I need to speak with you alone. If that is ok with Chico?" Chico looked over to Suzanne and Mando then rose up nodding yes. Walking away motioning to Ed to follow him.

Concerned Suzanne held Mando's hand. Letting go of her hand Mando tearfully spoke, "Suz, What I'm about to tell you…. I'm afraid will cause us to be apart again, this time for good"

Suzanne carefully yet dizzy rose up a little. "Mando what's wrong? Am I going to be alright?"

Tears streaming down Mando's face he then confessed to her, "Suzanne... Mi deseos del corazon..... I am the cause of what made you think you were dying and speaking to this spirit you claimed to have spoken to..."

Confused Suzanne confronted him, "What do you mean Mando?"

Sighing Mando cried as he continued to confess, "Suz, I have been slipping Psilocybin mushrooms into your food through out your meals since your stay in Puerto Rico."

Struggling to make Mando’s confession out Suzanne looked directly at Mando.

Ed's office door open as Chico walked out to check on Suzanne and Mando.

"Chico did you know about this?" Frightened Suzanne looked over towards him.

Sadly Chico nodded," Yes Suzanne Mando just told me after Ed just a few minutes ago confronted me about this".

Tears swelled up in Suzanne's eyes as she realized the unthinkable, "Mando I thought you love me! I had openly confessed my love for you then you pull this on me. Why!"

Sadden Mando held her hand as he tried to speak through his tears, "Suz, I am aware that you love me. Yet somewhere in my heart it was telling me you still had strong feelings for Chico. If you were able to vision what I had hoped you did. You would have declared your love for me regardless of Chico or your children".

Suzanne frightened back away, "Mando, I can't believe you could do such a thing!"

Crying she had to accept her emotional pain, "Damn it Mando. I don't want you near me or MY children ever again!"

Mando was not surprised to hear this from her as he began to plea with her, "por favor Suzanne por favor! I beg for your forgiveness!"

Mando approached her trying to embrace her. Angrily Suzanne pushed Mando away. "Leave me alone Mando please!"

Trying to embrace her Mando struggled as Suzanne tried to slug him through his now embrace. Crying so hard her tears blurred her vision as she tried to understand Mando. " Oh God Mando I thought you really loved me!" Pulling away from him Suzanne covered her eyes trying to figure out why.

Chico stood beside her, embracing her, frightened Suzanne shivered in Chico’s arms.

Upset Suzanne couldn't bear to look at Mando. Turning her head facing him she questioned Mando, "Is that why you didn't even want me to be a part of Edina? Just because she was Chico's own flesh and blood?" Suzanne wiped her eyes as she angrily yelled at Mando, "You claimed to have loved her as your own daughter Mando. I know you still seemed distant towards her all because she looked like her father!" Suzanne pulled away from Chico, rising up facing Mando. "How dare you treat her like that!" Suzanne angrily slapped Mando's face, spitting on him. Mando rubbed his face as he stood up facing her and Chico, "I love you Suzanne, can't you realize that?" Chico pulled Suzanne back guarding her from Mando, "That's a fine way to show someone you love them by almost trying to kill them!"

Mando went between the two of them, "Damnit it Chico, I had no intentions on trying to kill her. I just wanted to make her realized we were truly destined for one another!"

Chico extended his arm pushing Mando away from her; "That's bullshit Mando and you know it! Wasn't your wedding with her enough to prove it to all of us?" Chico tired to keep from getting emotional in front of Mando and Suzanne as he confronted him; "Mando it saddens me to think you wanted her out of our lives so you could claim you had her for your very own for life!" Mando pushed Chico, Suzanne couldn't believe what Chico was saying, "What? Mando is this true?" Suzanne saddened cover her mouth shocked began to cry.

Mando fearfully embraced her hand, "Suzanne, I knew you were still in love with Chico, even after we were married. I couldn't bear to have someone else be apart of your life"

Suzanne covered her face as she struggled to make sense of all of this. Releasing as she viewed Mando she couldn't bear what she had discovered "so it is true? You.... You wanted me... dead!"

Suzanne sadly embraced Chico crying so hard of realizing Mando's motives towards her. Chico carefully embraced Suzanne quietly calming her down by telling her it was all right.

Looking over towards Mando, Chico indicated to him to leave. Sadly Mando watched Suzanne cry upon Chico's shoulder. Walking over towards Suzanne Mando desperately wanted to embrace her before he left Ed's office. Walking towards her Mando hesitated as he witnessed how much he had hurt her. Upset Mando sadly pleaded with her one last time. "Por favor mi deseos corazon! Por favor!" Mando desperately begged her to not remove him out of her life and of his son's. Looking at her, Mando couldn't stop his emotions as he continued crying. Suzanne tried not to give into Mando's plea of forgiveness yet her soul wanted to embrace his heart-felt sincerity. Chico looked on he couldn't believe he was watching Suzanne embrace Mando.

Sighing Chico thought, "God, I can't believe she's actually taking him back!" Sighing Chico hoped Mando was serious this time and not up to any more of his tricks. Suzanne embraced him, "Mando.... I'll forgive you but I want to make something perfectly clear with you regarding us..." Embracing Mando she cried on his shoulder. Her destiny desired Mando regardless of his attempts to keep her away from Chico. Suzanne began to struggle with her heart, "Mando, would of wanted us to be together for a reason. Why if I love him can't I accept that?"