LETTERS WE WOULD HAVE WRITTEN
by Ana Moreno
This story is copyrighted to the author. Do not use, reprint, or publish any portion of it without prior permission from the author.
December 31, 1974
Dear Freddie,
It's New Year's Eve and even though I'm only 14 years old and my parents are very strict about such things, I am trying really hard to stay up until midnight without them knowing! I thought this would be as good a time as any to write to you and tell you how fantastic I think you and your new show are. I've been watching ever since the first episode in September, and I just love both you and Ed. I started to watch only because it's been about a year and a half since my family moved from the Los Angeles area (Van Nuys), and I heard the show was set in LA. (I don't know anything about cars or anything--I'm a girl!) I miss California so much--we live in the Midwest now, and the winter is soooo cold! But I know you know how that is, cuz you grew up in New York--don'tcha just love that Calif. is warm all the time?
Anyway, I was hoping you would send me an autographed picture. Could you put my name on it? As much as I hate my name, I'd love to think you signed a photo just for me! My name is Laurel--have you ever heard of anything so weird? My school out in North Hollywood had my name on it, even--it was a Lutheran private school called Laurel Grove. And you know all about Laurel Canyon, etc., I'm sure. I took alot of teasing about that, and the fact that I'm so tall (but also kinda fat), and my hair's so straight and so mousy brown, and because I've been wearing glasses since I was eight! (Plus, my eyes aren't a perfect blue, they're "hazel"--do you know what color that is?) Anything the kids could find that was different, they made fun of me! But I'm sure you never went through any of that--you're thin, and it's OK for a guy to be tall, and your hair is so dark and wavy and beautiful, and your eyes are so huge and such a gorgeous dark brown! By the way, now I go to a public school--I was so afraid of it before I even went there, I thought all the kids would be doing drugs in the halls and stuff! They're not, of course, but I still don't fit in anywhere! My mom tries to tell me it's cuz I'm so smart that they're jealous, but I don't want to be smart, I want to be pretty!
Oh, I'm so sorry to be going on like this--I'm sure you get this sort of letter all the time, and you probably won't even answer mine--not personally anyway! Would it help my chances if I told you that in a few days it will be my birthday? January 9th. I don't care if you can't write back in time to wish me a Happy Birthday, just so I get some kind of answer soon! Have a great new year!
Love always,
Laurel Kaye Garner
February 2, 1975
Dear Laurel,
Thank you so much for your sweet New Year's Eve letter. Sorry it has taken me so long to answer, but I've been very busy! To begin with, I want you to know that even though this letter is typed, I have dictated it myself and the signature is really mine.
You know what? We could have been neighbors! My first place when I came out here was on Laurel Drive in Van Nuys. Which reminds me, I don't think your name is weird at all--did you know that it means "victory"? I can understand, though, that it must have been hard living in a city with your name all over the place, and going to a school with the same name. By the way, I went to a Lutheran school in New York for awhile, but they "asked me to leave" because I used to do stand-up in the boys' restroom and no one was going to class! Even with the jokes, I didn't fit in anywhere, either--I was a chubby kid with glasses and asthma, so no sports. And I was too smart for my own good, too.
And oh yeah, compared to the weather in New York, I do prefer it here in California. Why did your family move to Illinois? I love Chicago, the people there are so friendly. So if your town is anything like Chicago, you should get along just fine. Don't worry if no one thinks you're pretty now, someone will someday soon!
Thanks so much for all the compliments about my show and me. I really love hearing from people like you. I have enclosed the picture you asked for--also really signed by me! Write me again soon, and a very late, very Happy 15th Birthday!
Your friend,
Freddie
February 9, 1975
Dear Freddie,
Thank you, thank you--the picture is just gorgeous! I kinda wish it had been in color, tho', cuz I just love how dark and shiny your hair is, and how brown your eyes are, and the golden color of your skin! Oh, geez, I'm sorry for babbling! Anyway, I just love what you wrote--To Laurel, A lovely, sweet, and smart young lady with great taste! Con carino, Freddie. I take Spanish at school, and I looked up the closing of your autograph in my dictionary--it means "fondly," right? That's so sweet of you!
To answer your question, we moved to Illinois because of my dad's job. He works for a bookstore franchise, and was a district manager in Calif. Now he's a district manager here. It's great, cuz I get all the books I want at his cost! I love to read--right now I'm reading "The Jewel of Seven Stars" by Bram Stoker. I read "Dracula" while I was recuperating from our car accident two years ago, and I had wanted to read everything else he had written! It took a long time to find this book, though--it's been out of print for years. It's about an Egyptian princess with seven fingers on each hand, and the curse that comes upon an archaeologist who steals a jewel from her tomb--heavy stuff! This probably doesn't interest you one bit, does it? I'll stop now. Hope you like the Valentine card I made you. I know guys don't like pink, or lace doilies and stuff, but I couldn't figure out what else to make it out of!
Love always,
Laurel
February 15, 1975
Dear Laurel,
Whoa, honey--wait a second! What car accident? I wish you had mentioned it before! Are you OK now? Tell me all about it!
Thank you for the beautiful Valentine. I don't mind that it was all pink and lacy, I like that you made it for me yourself. You're very creative. I taped it to the wall in my dressing room.
I love to read, too, but these days I don't have time to read much of anything but scripts and the newspaper! I did read "Dracula" a long time ago, though. Thought it was great! I didn't know Bram Stoker wrote anything else. Can your dad get me a copy of that book about the Egyptian princess? I'd ask one of my "people" to do it, but sometimes they get upset if I try to focus on anything but the work!
I better go now, have to get to rehearsal. Besides, I don't often write my own letters and my hand is cramping up! Ha ha ha! I just had to write this one myself cuz I was worried about you and didn't want to wait for your last letter to be "answered in the order in which it was received." A late "Happy Valentine's Day," chiquita!*
Luv ya,
Freddie (*little girl)
February 22, 1975
Dear Freddie,
Thanks so much for taking the time to write to me by hand! I'm sending you my own copy of "The Jewel of Seven Stars," since I've read it twice already anyway. Sorry it's in such bad shape, but it was used to start with.
It's really sweet of you to be so concerned about my recovery from the accident. I could have written you about it in my first letter, since New Year's Eve weekend is the anniversary of when it happened. But I didn't want to bother you with it in the first letter I ever wrote you! (Now that I think about it, tho', I did bother you with most of what I wrote in that letter anyway, didn't I?)
There's really not much to tell about the accident. My parents and I were going to the mountains to ski, and a drunk driver going the wrong way hit us head-on. The other driver and my mom walked away, but my dad's leg was broken in several places (he still has trouble walking). I was the most severely injured--all internal, including breaking all my ribs. I was in surgery six hours, the hospital for two months, then another two months in bed at home (I read "Dracula" about four times!). I finished out the school year going half-days, and that summer we made the move back here, which had been in the works for a year or so.
OK, that's the story. Now that you know basically everything about me, you don't have to write to me anymore.
Love,
Laurel
March 8, 1975
Dear Laurel,
I've decided to write all my letters to you myself. What do you mean I don't have to write to you anymore? You're probably one of the most interesting people your age who has ever written me. I don't hear from too many girls who read anything other than Tiger Beat! But what am I talking about, "your age"? I'm only 20 myself! I know it seems like I'm alot older than you, but it's really not that much if you think about it. I guess it just seems that way because I'm not in school anymore and you still are.
Speaking of not being in school, I could really tell it's been a long time since I was when I started to read the book you sent me! Heavy stuff, like you said! But thanks for sending me your own copy--I think I'll wait until we're on hiatus to read it, so I can really concentrate!
It's almost Easter, so I thought I'd send you something appropriate. I'm enclosing a crucifix I used to wear and a new St. Christopher medal, so that you'll be safe travelling from now on! Do you have a chain you can put them on? If you don't I can send you one.
Have a nice Easter and a good vacation.
Luv ya,
Freddie
March 16, 1975
Oh Freddie, I can't believe you would do something so generous for someone you've never even met! The crucifix and the medal are both so beautiful! And you used to wear the crucifix? I swear I'll never take either one off! I don't have a chain right now, but I can ask my parents to get me one (if I can work up enough nerve to show these to them!). You don't need to be spending any more money on me!
What are you talking about, it seems like you're so much older than me only because I'm still in school and you're not? You seem alot older because you're FAMOUS, silly!
Now that you've sent me these things, I've decided that I can admit to you that I didn't really tell you the whole story about my accident. I didn't want to tell you the rest because I didn't know if you would believe me, but now I think you would, if you believe in God and in the saints and things like that. I told you that I was the worst injured, but that wasn't the half of it! As soon as the impact occurred, I was rendered unconscious. When I came to, I was lying by the side of the road, where people who stopped to help had put me. They are the first part of what I didn't tell you before. My mom told me later that one was a nurse, another was a doctor, and when she went to thank them, they had disappeared! Angels, maybe? I've always thought so! And the paramedics who came for us told us that the sound of the impact had been heard like 20 miles away by people at a church camp, who called for help. More angels, right?
The second part is what I saw and heard when I came to. I saw a bright white light, and I heard a voice telling me that I would not die, and that I would not feel any pain. And it was true, too--although the doctors only gave me a 50-50 chance of surviving IF I lived through the first night after surgery, I obviously survived, and even with all my injuries and the surgery, they hardly had to give me any pain medication! Do you believe in miracles? People say I am one! But I'm not so sure.
There, now you really know all about me! It's all I have to give you that's appropriate for this time of year--the story of how I came back from the dead! Felices Pascuas, amigo hermoso!*
Oops, I almost forgot to say thank you! THANK YOU!
Luv ya,
Laurel (*Happy Easter, handsome friend!)
March 21, 1975
Dear Laurel,
I hope the enclosed reaches you in time so you can wear it to church on Easter Sunday. Felices Pascuas, amiguita!*
Luv ya,
Freddie (*Happy Easter, little friend!)
March 28, 1975
Freddie, you need to stop doing this! The chain is so gorgeous! Thank you again! You know I'll be wearing it on Easter, and forever after that!
Luv always,
Laurel
April 11, 1975
Dear Laurel,
I'm sorry it's been so long since I've written, but I'm still so busy even on hiatus! There were some things I didn't tell you either, because I didn't know how you believed--I said a prayer over the St. Christopher medal before I sent it, and I ask him to protect you every time I think of you. But after the story you told me about angels and visions, I get the feeling you don't need the medal--such a visitation you had! God is already near you!
I'm almost finished reading "The Jewel of Seven Stars". I've really enjoyed it! Thanks again!
Now, for the main reason I'm writing--to ask you if you would like to come to Chicago the weekend of May 2nd? I'll be appearing at Mr. Kelly's, and I'd like you to be there. I'm not sure if they would ordinarily allow a person your age in, but I'll fix that! Let me know so I can arrange a car to bring you up there, too.
Luv ya,
Freddie
April 17, 1975
Freddie! Are you kidding? Of course I want to come to Chicago and see you perform!!! I'll have to wait until my dad gets home from work to ask him, though--I'll write more later.
11:00 P. M.--Freddie, when I asked my parents, Mom accused me of making things up and Dad exploded! (They KNEW we were writing and you'd sent me stuff, so what's the big deal?) I showed them your letter (I don't usually), but that only made things worse when they realized your show would be in a place I'm too young to get into without you "fixing" it! I'll have to work on this a little more, OK? Go ahead and arrange things--I'll be there if I have to sneak out a window!
2 A. M.--I'm still so upset I can't get to sleep--school tomorrow and the weekend are gonna be rough! Wish you were here! If you were you could rock me to sleep!
Luv always,
Laurel
April 25, 1975
Laurel honey,
I'm so sorry that my invitation upset your parents so much! Of course I meant for them to come with you and see the show, too. I hope you understand I decided not to make any arrangements--I thought hard about it! What I will do instead is send you a cassette of the show--it's being recorded for an album.
Luv always,
Freddie
May 17, 1975
Hey Laurel--you still there?
I think I understand why you didn't answer my last letter. Please don't be mad at me, OK? I would have called your parents myself and assured them I was for real if I though it would have helped. But I know what it's like to have parents who want to overprotect you--remember how I said I was such a sickly kid I wasn't allowed to play any sports or anything? So believe me, I know where your folks are coming from, and I know I couldn't have changed their minds!
Anyway, here's the tape of the show I promised you--hope you like it! Please don't stop writing, I want to hear how school's going and everything--you never write about it. It's almost the end of the year, isn't it? And next year you'll be in high school, right? That's exciting!
Luv me?
Freddie
May 27, 1975
Dearest Freddie,
Oh, I'm so sorry! Yes, I was very upset, because I thought you were deciding for me whether or not I would come to Chicago, just like my mom and dad! And like you said, you're not THAT much older than me! But when I got the tape and listened to it, I laughed so hard I just fell in love with you all over again, and I had to forgive you! So will you forgive me for being such a baby about the whole thing?
As for school, I don't write about it because I hate it! I haven't found a place to fit in even after two years here! I don't dress right, I don't do drugs or drink or smoke, I'm not allowed to date until I'm 16 (not that anyone has asked me!), and I like you! Plus, everybody thought I was some kind of nerd cuz I actually LIKED having to study "Romeo and Juliet", but now that we're studying algebra, I'm just so totally lost in math, I'm about flunking! I was put in "gifted" courses because of my test scores my school in Calif., but I knew I wasn't gonna be able to handle them! My parents and the principal wouldn't listen, so here I sit with my grades going down the toilet! I'm not excited about high school, I'm scared!
Oh geez, there I go again dumping my problems on you! I'm so sorry! Hope this doesn't make you stop writing now that we just patched things up--Hahaha!
Luv me?
Laurel
June 6, 1975
Dear Laurel,
I haven't forgotten about you--I had the chance on the spur of the moment to go to Wyoming over Memorial Day with some friends and I just went. I'd never been there before--it was really a beautiful trip! I guess you're on summer vacation by now, right? Are you going anywhere? Let me know so I can say some special prayers that St.Christopher will protect you more than usual, OK?
It's almost time for me to go back to work on "Chico and the Man". I may not be able to write as much from here on, but I won't forget about you. If I don't have a chance before you start high school in the fall, let me wish you all the luck in the world right now! I can tell you're smart, and I know you'll do just fine! Keep me posted!
Your friend always,
Freddie
By the way, when you turn 16, can I be your first date?
June 16, 1975
Dearest Freddie,
Cumpleanos feliz ! Cumpleanos feliz! Te amo, Freddie mio! Cumpleanos feliz!*
To answer your question, yes, I am going on vacation--we're leaving Wednesday for Chicago! Can you believe it! NOW my folks decide I can go there! I guess the whole thing about me coming to your show made them realize that we've lived this close to it all this time and have never seen it!
Anyway, try to keep in touch!
Luv ya, (*Happy birthday! I love you, my [dear]Freddie!)
Laurel
P. S. Yes, you can be my first date, but only if it's to Disneyland! Hahaha!
July 25, 1975
Dear Laurel,
Sorry it's been such a long time, but we're busy filming now. I wish I could have come to Chicago, too--I was ready for another hiatus already then! Did you have a nice time? It's a great city, isn't it? Thank you so much for the sweet birthday song!
Hang on--I lied, and I really need to be honest now--filming "Chico" isn't the only reason I've been too busy to write. You're gonna see this in the papers pretty soon anyway, but they won't tell the whole story, and I want you to understand. Remember how I told you I went out to Wyoming over Labor Day? Well, while I was there I met this girl. She and I got together and had this kinda love at first sight thing, but then I had to come back here and she had to stay there, and I didn't know if we'd ever see each other again. Now she's let me know that she's pregnant, and I'm sure the baby's mine. So we're getting married--the wedding's gonna be in Las Vegas next month.
Please realize that while I'll always consider you a very special friend, I'm gonna have a wife and a baby and the responsibilities that go along with all that, plus being on a TV show and doing appearances and everything! I just wanted to tell you before the whole world finds out--I hope you're not upset. I know you think you're in love with me right now, but you have to remember, you don't really know me--we never even met! You'll be 16 before you know it, and you'll find a boyfriend, and I'll be as ancient history to you as the princess in "The Jewel of Seven Stars"! Keep smiling, amiguita!
Your friend always,
Freddie Prinze
August 11, 1975
Dear Freddie,
Congratulations! I hope you and your new wife and baby will be very happy. Seriously, how do you expect me to EVER forget you when I have this beautiful reminder of your concern for me hanging around my neck all day and night? And you won't forget me unless you burn my letters and the book I sent you, will you? But I don't think you'd ever do that--you're too good a person. I imagine I'll keep watching "Chico and the Man", but from now on I won't know whether to laugh or cry! I'll miss you--try to miss me at least a little, OK?
Con carino y con tristeza-- (Fondly and sadly--
tu antigua amiguita, your former little friend)
Laurel Garner
January 12, 1977
Dear Laurel,
I don't suppose you ever expected to hear from me again, but when I was in Vegas over New Year's I saw a girl who looked like the way you described yourself, and I got to wondering how you're doing. You just turned 17, right? How's the dating going?
My love life is shot all to hell (pardon the language)! Kathy kicked me out, got a restraining order, and is getting a divorce! I can't even see my son! Sorry to vent all this on you after such a long time without a word, but it seems like everyone around me is backing off. I guess I just kinda need a friend right now.
Freddie
January 22, 1977
Dearest Freddie,
I saw some stuff about your divorce in the paper--I'm so sorry! Of course I'm still your friend! Feel free to dump on me anytime!
Actually, I've kinda been worried about you. I noticed in the first episode of this season that you looked like you weren't feeling well. You look so thin now, and sometimes your eyes look sunken. Are you OK? I imagine it's just the strain you've been under, right?
Things are actually better for me. I have a best friend now (we went to different junior highs, but met when we started high school), and I met a guy while I was on vacation in Florida for Christmas--he just happens to live in a town only a half hour from me! Of course that wasn't me in Vegas--I'm sending you a picture so the next time you think you see me you'll be sure! As you can see, no more glasses (contact lenses) and I've gotten my hair cut like Dorothy Hamill's. I guess having attention from a guy like you (if only through the mail) gave me the confidence to make some changes! Thank you so much! You were there for me, and I'll be here for you!
Your friend always,
Laurel
Webmaster's note:
Freddie Prinze died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound on January 29, 1977. It is unknown whether he intended to kill himself, or whether it was an accident. While these letters are fiction, they remind us that sometimes, you are not as alone as you think you are.